I’ve recently had a few more folks sign up for e-mail coaching. This morning it struck me I should offer this warning.
WARNING! : I love to work with folks one to one via email. I see myself as standing at the top of the high dive board. You’re ready to dive. You are crouched, head down, arms back. On your mark, get set, get set, get set, get set . . .
It’s my job to just give you a little elbow nudge. Plop! You’re done.
Of course, folks ready to dive off the high board— ready to quit smoking – are a little worried they’ll drown if they actually dive. Afraid they’ll die or at least do a total belly flop, break their back, be paralyzed for the rest of their lives. Lots of fear rises up around quitting smoking.
Of course, none of that ever happens. Ever. Not once has anyone ever died from stopping smoking. Not once, anywhere, ever. And no one has ever been paralyzed, suffering constant pain for the rest of their lives, because they quit smoking. Even though that’s the fear.
That’s why sometimes folks need a simple little elbow nudge when they areready to make the plunge. I love being the lifeguard in this scenario. It’s so fun to see the happy surprise on people’s face.
You take the plunge and— Surprise!— you find yourself sitting in your easy chair, or taking a warm shower, or going to work, coming home, shopping for groceries, playing with the dog. After taking the plunge you find yourself just living your ordinary life, doing your ordinary thing, but now without the burden of leg shackles, the constant heavy weight of always thinking about smoking, worrying about smoking, maybe hiding your smokes, running after smokes. All that’s gone.
Not smoking is so much more peaceful, both inside and out, than smoking. You’ll see after you take the plunge. But here’s the
WARNING: if you sign up for the $10 a month e-mail coaching, you will be disappointed at some point. Either a big disappointment or a small disappointment. Disappointed in me, something I say, or do, or s something I don’t say or something I don’t do. Being disappointed, either big or small, is just the nature of life on this planet, and our relations with each other as human beings. At some point, we disappoint each other. Wish I could be a perfect stop smoking coach, never disappointing anyone, ever. Alas, I don’t have that much mojo. (No one has that much mojo!)
So here’s my first encouragement: even when you find yourself disappointed in me (or some other coach here at the SFS,) I encourage you to continue on, take the plunge, do what needs to be done (or more precisely, don’t do what doesn’t need to be done. After all quitting smoking is not about doing something. It’s about not doing something. See How to Stop Smoking in 15 Easy Years: A Slacker’s Guide to Final Freedom.)
Here’s the deal: You are the one on the field. Your coach is not on the field. You are the star here. Your life art is what this is all about. Yes, your coach, although trying to help, will probably disappoint you at some point. But when you’re disappointed in your coach, rather than quitting the game, going to look for a different coach, (every coach disappoints at some point) this is the exact time to continue on, take the plunge, do what you yourself need to do, what you yourself want to do.
When you continue on in spite of being disappointed in your coach, you’ll find your own strength magnified, your own freedom more palpable, your own life artistry coming to maturity. And surprise! You quickly find yourself free, having done what you yourself had set out to do.
I thought it best to warn you about upcoming disappointment. Doesn’t mean we can’t work together, have fun and enjoy each other while we do it. It just makes our work together easier if we start with our feet solidly on the ground, looking at reality straight in the face.
So, now, don’t say you haven’t been warned. Let’s get started…